


Too Late to Speak, Too Soon to Leave

by marissalyn14



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hollstein - Freeform, Humor, Long-Distance Relationship, Other, a lot of high school fluff, high school sweethearts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:04:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marissalyn14/pseuds/marissalyn14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla and Laura were high school sweethearts and later broke up during college, but what happens when ten years later they are both called back to meet their parent's fiance and realize that they weren't out of each other's lives like they hoped they would be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Budding Romance

**Author's Note:**

> Trying something new you guys...

**ACT ONE – IGNITE**

**Chapter One – Budding Romance**

”Highway run  
Into the midnight sun  
Wheels go round and round  
You're on my mind  
Restless hearts  
Sleep alone tonight  
Sending all my love  
Along the wire”  
-‘Faithfully’ by Journey 

_February 2005_

xXx

Laura had many regrets, but this was not one of them. If she could go back in time to the moment she had clocked Theo in the head with her binder, she would totally do it all again. He deserved it and it didn’t matter if Mr. Chambers was there to see it or not.

Now Laura sat in Mr. Chambers’ third floor physics classroom with her arms out in front of her, fingers splayed on the desktop as she scrutinized her chipped nail polish. This was her first detention ever and she was already starting to understand why people claimed to say it didn’t matter all too much, although the looming meaning behind the big girl timeout set her nerves on end. Theo may have deserved to be blindsided by all of Laura’s algebra homework, but Laura certainly didn’t deserve to be sitting in detention with one single other person in the whole room that could fit the capacity of eighty people. 

Mr. Chambers had stepped out for a smoke Laura had assumed, leaving her alone with _her_. Carmilla Karnstein, the single student in the entire high school that had the highest record of detentions ever. She was basically spending every single one of her afternoons with the well-known and well-hated physics teacher. Laura didn’t understand what it took to feel the urge to want to rot away in detention. She guessed it was similar to the burning desire to make Theo’s head do an entire three-sixty without toppling off of his shoulders. 

Laura was starting to panic a little bit though. She wasn’t sure if this detention was going on her personal record and when she had asked Mr. Chambers, he had simply chuckled and shrugged, telling her to find a seat to sit in for the next hour and a half. 

“Come here often?” A voice beckoned Laura out of her stupor and made her drag her eyes up a pair of what appeared to be an optical illusion of long legs encased in leather pants. 

Laura scoffed at the girl, shaking her head. “I’m pretty sure you would know if I did.”

Carmilla nodded, smirking, “Touché.” 

Laura avoided eye contact, rolling her eyes as she drew them back towards the front of the room, watching Carmilla out of the corner of her eye as she maneuvered herself so that she was sitting on top of the desk beside her, combat boots planted firmly in the chair beneath it. Gritting her teeth slightly, Laura’s eyes nervously hedged over to the cracked door before swiveling back to face Carmilla once more. “Can you please go back to where you were sitting earlier? Mr. Chambers is going to be back soon and he specifically said not to move before he left.”

“Want to get out of here?” Carmilla asked, ignoring Laura’s wish entirely. She was smacking her gum with every obnoxious chew, reminding Laura that much of a cow when it’s eating grass. 

Laura spluttered at the question. “Are you serious?”

Carmilla shrugged, looking over towards the door. “I don’t see why not.”

“Uh, clearly because he’s going to be back any minute and realize that we’re not here.”

“I’m never here when he gets back, doesn’t seem to have effected him all too much. In fact I think he prefers it that way, gives him a bit more time to get home before his shows are on.” Carmilla said, leaning back on her palms. 

“Do you ask all the girls that are in detention to leave with you?”

Carmilla smirked, followed by a waggle of her eyebrows, “Sometimes.” 

Laura gritted her teeth once more, noticing Carmilla’s eyes glance over to her balled up fists on the desk before looking back towards her face, and more specifically her jawline. “Are you always this tense?” She asks Laura, sliding off of the desk to tower over Laura’s, “Because I hear I can be great help with that.”

“I’m sure you are.” Laura bit out, averting her eyes to somewhere near the whiteboard, pretending to read over the elements table. 

“Last chance, cutie.” Carmilla said, beginning to walk away, peeking over her shoulder at Laura as she went. “It could be fun, we could even talk if you wanted to.”

Laura rolled her eyes again, as if she would want to do anything with Carmilla Karnstein. “Why would you want to do that? Wouldn’t you much rather go find Elsie and make out with her behind the softball dugout like you always do?”

“Do I sense a bit of jealousy there?” Carmilla teased, stopping at the door and looking out into the hallway before turning back to face Laura. “Maybe because you hate me and I like that in a girl, makes things interesting.”

“You’re entirely insufferable you know that right?” Laura quickly said, trying to avoid the blush she felt creeping up her neck.

Carmilla grinned, “So I’ve been told by your kind catcher of a girlfriend Grayson numerous times actually.”

Laura shook her head, feeling the blush deepen, “Grayson’s not,” She shook her head more rapidly as she stood up, “Grayson’s not my girlfriend.”

Carmilla raised a brow, feigning interest. “Are you sure she knows that?”

In order to avoid the question posed to her, Laura quickly moved over to where Carmilla was standing, getting ready to walk out. “Where did you want to talk?”

Carmilla’s grin widened, pushing the door open and allowing Laura to walk out first. “Anywhere you want, although I’m particularly a fan of the dugouts.” 

Laura looked back at her before heading down the hallway, squinting her eyes in light disgust, “Cute.”

Carmilla shrugged, “I’d say I try, but that’d be a lie.”

“Truly insufferable.” 

“And you’re a goody two-shoes, don’t see me being a bitch to you about it.”

“Did you just call me a bitch?”

“Please, it’s not the worst thing I’ve wanted to call you.”

Laura whipped around, “Oh, really? What else have you wanted to call me?”

Carmilla smirked, “Mine.” She said with a toothy grin, chuckling as the blush returned to Laura’s face with rapid speed. A moment passed before she decided to take the lead, “Just kidding cupcake, there’s a nice coffee place I like to go to on my birthday.”

Laura quickly followed after her, “Today’s your birthday?” Leave it to the biggest punk in the school to be a Valentine’s Day baby.

XxX

_ March 2005  _

“Did you watch last night’s episode of Gilmore Girls?” Laura asked upon seeing Carmilla already sat at their table in the far corner, coffee sitting in front of her as a cup of hot chocolate sat waiting for her.

Carmilla looked up from her book, smiling, “How could I not? You would spoil it if I didn’t keep up.”

“And it would’ve been your own fault.” Laura said, grinning as she sat down across from Carmilla and took a sip from her mug.

“Well this is all I have to say about last night’s episode, Lorelai Gilmore is wife goals.” Carmilla said, setting her book down and bringing her coffee up to her mouth.

Laura rolled her eyes, “You say that every week.”

Carmilla shrugged, setting her cup down after taking another large gulp from it. “I’m just saying it like it is, maybe one of these days you’ll start drinking coffee and spitting out sarcasm like the best of us.”

Laura raised a brow, “Are you saying you want me to be Lorelai Gilmore so you can marry me?” She held a hand to her heart, “Why Carm, I had no idea you felt that way about me.” 

Carmilla scoffed, rolling her eyes and throwing a wadded up napkin towards Laura’s face, missing completely as it instead landed in her hot chocolate. 

Laura giggled, fishing the napkin out of her mug before taking another sip from it. “Your proposal needs some work though.”

“You are so annoying.” Carmilla said, shaking her head in amusement.

Laura smiled, “Yeah, but you like annoying.” Leaning back in her chair she tried not to notice the slight twitch of Carmilla’s lips that slowly turned into a smile. She tried not to notice things like that because she would then find herself thinking they were cute which only caused for troubling thoughts, thoughts of those lips doing much more than smiling. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Carmilla asked, bringing her coffee back up to her lips as she watched Laura’s face redden. 

“Nothing.” Laura quickly said looking out the front windows of the café to the people milling about the street. She really needed to kick this habit of thinking about Carmilla in more than a friendly way before she ruined whatever it is they had. She sort of liked being able to talk about Gilmore Girls over coffee and hot chocolate, not to mention having to avoid balled up napkins at all costs. 

She just hoped that whatever it was she was feeling would be gone soon.

xXx

“Heads or tails.”

Laura looked up her brow raised in question. “What?”

“You can’t decide on a movie to go see and I’m getting bored standing out here on the curb.” Carmilla explained, holding out a gloved hand to show Laura the nickel she held in her palm. “So pick, heads or tails.”

“Heads.” Laura said, unsure as to whether or not Carmilla was messing with her.

Carmilla smiled lightly, tossing her hand up in the air to let the coin shoot up before landing back in her hand. She looked down and chuckled, “Guess you’ve got a bit of luck on your side tonight, Hollis.”

“Why’s that?” 

Carmilla held up the coin, heads up. “Because you just picked the horror film.”

Laura sighed, nodding her head. “I hope you know we’re coming back next weekend to see the rom-com then.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes before reaching the box office. “Now why would I ever think I’d get out of a deal with you?” She asked, turning her head quickly to look back at Laura teasingly. “I might as well chain myself to you until next weekend is over. You still won’t let me forget you beat me at skeeball two nights ago.”

“I’m glad you understand our arrangement and that you have poor skeeball skills.” Laura joked, shuffling up so that she stood beside Carmilla as she bought their tickets. 

“As long as you don’t mistake it for a friendship.” Carmilla said, bumping her hip with Laura’s. “Because that would just be a sin for me to have to break the news to you, also I’m fucking amazing at skeeball.”

It was Laura’s turn to roll her eyes now as she watched Carmilla thank the kid behind the glass and turn to hand her a ticket. “I’m only here for the snacks.” Carmilla said motioning towards the bag in Laura’s hand filled with bargain Valentine’s Day candy.

Laura scoffed, “And just when I thought I finally got my personality just right to gel with yours.”

Carmilla grinned, “You wish.”

XxX

“Admit it, it wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought it was going to be.” Carmilla said turning to Laura from where she sat on the floor beneath a pile of blankets and was surrounded by a mountain of tissues.

Laura sniffled, wiping her nose with yet another tissue. “It was alright.” She said, looking between the credits of the documentary and Carmilla’s excited face. There was a fluttering in her chest but she was pushing to believe it was just the cold getting to her.

“Oh come on cutie, it was more than alright.” Carmilla said, tucking her legs beneath her and staring at the credits almost memorized by the names listed there.

Laura smiled before falling into another coughing fit. 

Carmilla quickly stood up, side-stepping the pile of tissues and the lump that was Laura. “I’ll make you more tea before starting the one on what it means to have thoughts.”

Laura fought back a groan, wishing for the days that she had forced Carmilla to watch Buffy back, at least then she knew what was going on. Philosophy was so not for her, but if it made Carmilla happy she decided it wasn’t anywhere near the worst thing in the world. Besides, she liked her smile; it was a lot less intimidating compared to her broody stare.

xXx

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Carmilla rubbed her eyes with the knuckles of her right hand as she listened to Laura’s voice on the other end of the phone. “So you thought I shouldn’t be able to sleep either?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just- I don’t know.” Laura said nervously. “Forget it, sorry I woke you.”

Carmilla quickly shook her head, forgetting that Laura couldn’t see her. “No, it’s okay. I was up anyways.” She was lying; she had fallen asleep while doing her science homework and woke up with drool on her chemistry practice test and her phone ringing through her headphones. To say she was startled and a bit disgusted with herself was an understatement, especially if she thought about the flip her stomach did when she saw who was calling her.

“Are you sure?” Laura asked. 

Carmilla nodded before remembering that she was on the phone again. “Yeah, not a problem. You know I always have time for cute girls.” She tried to laugh off her lack of subtlety, hoping that if she reverted back to more familiar material Laura wouldn’t notice how awkward she was being.

“Is that still all I am to you?” Laura quickly asked, her voice a bit pitchy.

“No, well I guess not.” Carmilla said casually, Laura was so much more than that. “You’re kind of a friend I suppose.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You know what I mean.” Carmilla said. God she hated emotions, they were just too hard to deal with, especially when she didn’t understand her own.

“I kind of do.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, you’re kind of a friend to me too.” Laura lightly chuckled at the end, teasing her.

Carmilla smiled, “Thanks cupcake.”

“Anytime.” Laura responded and she meant it.

XxX

“You’re telling me that you’ve never tied a cherry stem with your tongue?” Carmilla asked just to make sure she had heard her right.

Laura rolled her eyes, “Yes Carm, it’s not that big of a deal. It just means I can’t tie a cherry stem with my tongue.”

Carmilla shook her head, setting down her spoon. “No, it means you suck at kissing.”

The tips of Laura’s ears reddened. “I do not suck!”

“Prove it then.” Carmilla said, her face smug to hide her internal melt down over the girl sitting across from her.

“What?” Laura asked, her neck now falling in line with her ears in their pigmentation.

“Tie a cherry stem with your tongue and prove you’re not a sucky kisser.”

“But I just said I can’t.”

Carmilla shrugged, “And you also just said you aren’t a bad kisser.”

“Tying a knot with your tongue does not determine how good of a kisser you are.” Laura tried to reason, “That’s just ridiculous.”

Carmilla smirked, picking out the cherry from her sundae and popping it into her mouth. A moment later she had eaten the cherry and stuck out her tongue to reveal the stem neatly tied. Placing it dramatically on her plate, she looked up to see Laura with her arms crossed and her cheeks now flushed. “I beg to differ.” Carmilla said, leaning back in her side of the booth. 

“Whatever, let’s just get the stupid check.” Laura huffed, causing Carmilla to laugh and for the family of four across from them to look over in their direction.

“I hate you.” Laura said.

“You like me just fine.” Carmilla quickly said in return. She had no idea of the truth behind that statement. “Besides, you have plenty of time to practice on your pillow.” She had to admit the balled up napkin to the face was well deserved.

xXx

Carmilla parked her truck in the school parking lot and hopped out of the cab, waiting for Laura to follow. She wanted to share with her one of her most favorite things, because she was one of them.

“What are we doing out here?” Laura asked, eyeing Carmilla as she pulled down the door to the bed of her truck and hopped up onto it.

“Stargazing.” Carmilla simply said unfolding the blankets she had put back there earlier in the night. 

“Stargazing?” Laura asked, she knew Carmilla liked to hide how soft she was, but this was just down right Hollywood romance worthy. Not that Carmilla was trying to seduce her or anything, because that would just be stupid. 

“Yes cutie, stargazing.” Carmilla repeated, lowering herself onto the blankets and patting the spot beside her. “Now pop a squat, there’s something I want to show you.”

Laura climbed up and made herself comfortable, looking over at Carmilla when she was done shifting around. “Gotta say Carm, my beliefs of you being shallow are getting proved wrong more and more each day.”

Carmilla scoffed, “I have a few more interests besides girls and coffee.” She picked her nails, “I just have rules to go with them.”

Laura cocked her head to the side as she stared up at the stars to try and understand what the beautiful girl beside her saw. “What do you mean you have rules?”

It was three weeks into doing whatever it was they were doing. There was nothing romantic about it; well there was no physical aspect of it anyways. Unless you counted all of the hand brushing along arms and backs while they were walking side by side, or the nicknames that had shortly caught on after their first time in Carmilla’s beloved coffee shop on that very rainy Valentine’s Day. 

Carmilla shrugged, not giving it much thought. “I’ve seen a lot of shit in my life.” She started, leaning back on her hands as she focused on the big dipper. “I’ve seen a lot, been through a lot, and I just try to avoid having to feel some of the things I’ve had to feel before. By having rules, it makes the chances of having to go through them again a great deal smaller.”

“So what are these rules? Any that I should follow too?” Laura asked, a bit of teasing falling on the latter. 

Carmilla shrugged, “Don’t cheat, don’t lie, and don’t steal.” She listed them quickly, her eyes not leaving the night sky. 

“Those are pretty good rules to have.” Laura said her eyes now trained on Carmilla’s face. She was much more mesmerizing than the sky could ever be to her. She wasn’t supposed to think that though. She was supposed to still like Grayson. She had been having a lot of these thoughts over the past three weeks, making for spending more and more time with Carmilla recently a tad bit more difficult.

“There’s one more though.” Carmilla said, looking over at Laura as she said this, her eyes tracing over the slope of her nose and the curve of her cupid’s bow before settling on her eyes. 

“And what’s that?” Laura asked. She too was now focused on Carmilla’s eyes, dark in their depths and haunting in their gaze. 

“Never fall in love.” Carmilla whispered, her eyes flicking down to Laura’s lips before meeting her eyes once more.

Laura swallowed, feeling the air change around them to something much more intimate. She shouldn’t be feeling this way; every single thing about this girl raised a red flag. “What makes you so sure that that will save you from getting hurt?” Laura found herself asking, leaning in a bit closer.

“I’m not.” Carmilla breathed out, moving in to meet Laura inch by inch. “But sometimes I just have to hope that whoever I do fall in love with won’t hurt me like I could them.”

“You don’t want to be the fragile one?” Laura asked, feeling herself moving even closer, her eyes never leaving Carmilla’s lips.

“I already am the fragile one,” Carmilla said, closing the space between them until their lips were just a breath apart, “the problem is are you willing to catch me before I fall?”

“I can try.” Laura whispered, her eyes flicking up to meet Carmilla’s smoldering gaze.

“Than that will be enough.” Carmilla said, closing the remaining gap between them and falling head over heels for the girl she never thought she’d ever get a chance to talk to.


	2. K.I.S.S.I.N.G.

**Chapter Two – K.I.S.S.I.N.G.**

_“And then you speak to me_  
And everything gets easy  
Like I get what I wanted  
Now I'm just haunted by you constantly  
And everything gets easy”  
-‘Everything is Easy’ by Third Eye Blind 

_ April 2005 _

“You’re insane.” Carmilla said, looking out at the roller rink with quick disdain.

“Oh come on, it’s my birthday. Don’t you want to make me happy?” Laura asked, tying up her skates and standing to her feet in front of Carmilla who was still sitting on the bench with a pout frozen onto her face.

Carmilla smirked, looking up at her girlfriend with her intentions clear in her eyes, “I can think of a couple other ways to make you happy that don’t involve me dying from slipping and cracking my head open in front of a bunch of people on mini death wheels.”

Laura rolled her eyes, holding out her hand for Carmilla to take, “Come on you big baby, I’ll hold your hand the whole time, no way you’ll slip without both of us falling to our imminent deaths.”

Carmilla heaved a sigh as she slowly made her way to her feet and took Laura’s outstretched hand begrudgingly. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Laura winked at her before leading them slowly to the opening of the rink, making sure that Carmilla didn’t slip at the change in floors before pulling her along slowly, close to the edge at Carmilla’s whispered request.

XxX

“It’s funny, you look like a normal person but you’re actually the angel of death.” Laura said upon finding her girlfriend in the crowd.

“When Harry Met Sally? Seriously?” Carmilla asked unimpressed. 

“It’s a classic!” Laura insisted as she followed her over to the bleachers.

“What’s classic is the fact that just one simple look with your deceiving puppy eyes got me agreeing to seeing a stupid soccer game with you.”

“Oh come on I do things when you ask.”  
“I don’t ask you to do anything.”

“Exactly, which makes it even harder for me to figure out what it is you want because your stubborn ass refuses to actually say it.”

Carmilla looked up smirking, “You like my ass though.” 

Laura rolled her eyes fighting a smile, “And this is exactly why I’m making you sit through Grayson’s soccer game.”

“But Laura, if I sit how will you be able to see my stubborn ass?” Carmilla teased as she took her seat beside her girlfriend.

Laura ignored her, looking out towards the field and waited for the game to start.

Carmilla sighed heavily as she wrapped an arm around Laura’s shoulders. “Only because it’s you.” She said before pressing a kiss to her cheek and settling in for what would be the longest hour and a half of her life.

XxX

“What do you remember about your mother?” Carmilla asked as she rolled over to face Laura, a hand lazily tracing patterns beneath Laura’s tank top as they lay awake, hoping sleep would take them sooner rather than later.

“Her eyes.” Laura said, gnawing on her lip so she wouldn’t delve in too deep. She knew her and Carmilla had been opening up to each other quite a bit recently, but she wasn’t so sure how much she was asking for here. “They were blue.” She continued, her own eyes landing on Carmilla’s face in the dark. “What about you? What do you remember about your dad?”

Carmilla pursed her lips in thought, “His footsteps on the stairs.” When Laura looked over at her curiously she spoke again, “Have you ever noticed that everyone has like a distinct way they go down the stairs?” At Laura’s nod she continued, “Well he always had this heavy footed walk that always let me know when he was coming. My mother used to say that he would get himself killed in war because he would let everyone know where he was.” After a moment Carmilla sucked in a shaky breath, “I guess she wasn’t that far off.”

Laura frowned, holding out a hand to stroke Carmilla’s shoulder. “It’s okay to miss him.”

Carmilla nodded, “It’s not okay to cry to about it though.” She wiped her eyes before the tears could escape, “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry over him anymore.”

Laura smiled sadly, “Well what’s a promise if you can’t break it sometimes?”

Carmilla looked up at her, “I take promises very seriously Laura, I could never break one, whether it was for me or for you. Never.”

xXx

“So I’ve been thinking.” Carmilla said swinging the hand she was holding Laura’s with between them.

“Oh yeah? What’ve you been thinking?” Laura asked as they walked along the street to grab some ice cream before settling in for the night with some Netflix and under-the-blanket fun. 

“Mhm.” Carmilla hummed, hoping that her hands weren’t clammy enough for Laura to notice. “I’ve got to tell you something.”

“And what would that be?” 

“I think I might love you.” Carmilla said casually, hoping that her heart would calm down before it burst through her chest entirely and turned her into an old Wiley Coyote cartoon. 

Laura chuckled, her lips curving upwards in one of the most beautiful smiles Carmilla had ever seen. “I think I might love you too.”

“Yeah?” Carmilla asked a bit dazed. 

“Mhm.” Laura mimicked her, now being the one to swing their hands between them. 

Carmilla grinned. It was the first time Laura had ever made her utterly speechless. “Thanks.” She whispered unsure of what else to say.

Laura raised a brow, “For what?”

“For taking a chance on me when everything was telling you not to.” 

“Carm-“

“I’m serious Laura. I’m not the most reliable person in the world, hell I even told you I never wanted to fall in love and look what happened. You make things brighter and you make me hopeful.” 

“Careful what you say Karnstein, your reputation as the town punk could be at risk.” Laura joked trying to take the attention away from herself.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, “Oh yes, I seemed to forget how you fell for me to begin with.” 

Laura swatted at Carmilla’s arm, “Jerk.” 

“Mm, but something tells me you like that about me.” Carmilla teased. 

“I guess you’ll never know for sure.” Laura said in return dropping Carmilla’s hand and skipping ahead of her to reach the convenience store first. 

Carmilla smiled after her, shaking her head in disbelief. How did she ever get so lucky?

XxX

_ May 2005 _

“Don’t you ever just get tired of laying in bed?” Laura asked as she stared up at the ceiling. Even though Carmilla’s bed was super comfortable and the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling were more than endearing, it was a Saturday afternoon and a person can only make out and nap for so long.

“Not particularly.” Carmilla says from where her face is pressed into Laura’s shoulder.

“Never get tired of reading or sleeping?” Laura reworded her question, hoping that it would get a better answer. 

“Well when I get bored of one book I pick up another, and sleep is always necessary Laura.” Carmilla rolled away for a moment to allow her to sit up. “But I’m guessing you want to do something.”

“Really, what gave that away?” Laura asked.

Carmilla smirked, “Was that sarcasm?”

Laura shrugged, “I guess you’re rubbing off on me.”

“Mm, wouldn’t you rather it be me rubbing _on_ you?” Carmilla countered, pressing a kiss to Laura’s neck and feeling her shudder. 

Laura pushed her off, “You’re insatiable.”

“What can I say? You’re delicious and I’m addicted.”

Laura rolled her eyes, pushing Carmilla away once more when she tried to lean in for her lips. “I’m serious Carm, let’s do something. It’s Saturday night.”

Carmilla relented, sitting up and tapping her chine with her index finger. After a moment of silence her eyes lit up as she moved over Laura to get to her nightstand and pulled open the drawer to reveal two tickets to the art museum. “I got them for my birthday, but Mattie told me to take a pretty girl and I didn’t want to go with anyone else.”

Laura smiled brightly, “When should we leave?”

xXx

“What flavor do you want?”

“Neapolitan.”

Laura nodded her head before asking the guy behind the counter for a two-scoop cone of Neapolitan. 

Carmilla smiled as she watched Laura eat her own ice cream cone. She was so excited about it that Carmilla had insisted Laura got her own first. She took her cone from Laura’s hand and chuckled, taking her thumb and wiping away the ice cream on the tip of her girlfriend’s nose. 

Laura giggled and Carmilla had to stop and steady herself. “I love you.” She said, “I’m sure now.”

Laura raised a brow before speaking, “Took you long enough.” She said with a smile as bright as Carmilla had ever seen it. 

Carmilla knew then that she would never wait so long to say anything ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit lacking, but I figured not every moment between them needed to be written. Use your imagination to think about all of their other moments :D


	3. To Love is to Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final moments of their senior year and how they decide what comes next.

**Chapter Three – To Love is To Hope**

_”Wouldn't say I was your best friend_  
I was just someone who would listen  
but it was you and me all summer long  
down in your parents' basement  
that was years ago  
we're not those kids anymore  
it's just that I've never seen wild eyes like yours.” 

_-‘Wild Eyes’ by Paul Baribeau_

_ May 2005 _

“You are being ridiculous!” Laura lectured.

“No, what’s ridiculous is proposing that our date night should involve board games.” Carmilla countered, taking a long sip from her mug of wine before setting it down again. “Not my fault you just keep cheating.”

“I am not cheating!”

“Tell that to the bank, cupcake.” Carmilla said pointing towards the Monopoly play money. “Oh wait, you’re the one in charge of it.”

“You’re insufferable, you know that?”

“Aw, you’re reminding me of how magical our first meeting was.” Carmilla deadpanned before continuing, rolling the dice, “Besides, I’m a fucking delight.”

Laura snorted, “Sure you are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Carmilla asked, moving her tiny wheelbarrow and looking up at her girlfriend who was sitting across from her, clearly amused by her statement. 

“It means you might want to refresh your memory of what the definition of delight is.”

Carmilla scoffed, quickly pushing the board game out of the way and tackling Laura to the ground, pinning her beneath her and beginning to tickle her sides. 

Laura giggled, her knees jerking up as a reaction, knocking Carmilla’s elbows inwards as she tried to roll away to safety. 

“I don’t think so.” Carmilla said, rolling with her and re-pinning her to the ground, sitting on Laura’s hips to keep her in place and her knees out of play. “Take it back.”

“Never!” Laura defied her, trying to twist and wiggle her way out from beneath Carmilla. 

“Admit that you cheated and that I’m a fucking delight.” Carmilla said, holding Laura’s hands above her head as she leaned over her tauntingly.

Laura shook her head, “No.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, smirking. “Well then I guess I have no choice but to swear to celibacy for the next two weeks.”

Laura’s eyes widened, “You wouldn’t dare.”

Carmilla chuckled, her gaze darkening as she suddenly ground down into Laura’s hips. “Oh, but wouldn’t I?”

Laura gulped, looking anywhere but at her girlfriend, biting back a whine as she felt Carmilla grind down on her again. 

“All you have to say is that you cheated and that I’m a delight to be around.”

Laura scoffed, “You may taste like one, but you are no delight.” That seemed to get Carmilla’s attention, catching her off guard as Laura quickly flipped them over, pinning the girl beneath her. “I didn’t cheat.”

Carmilla’s lips parted in shock before curving into a smirk, “I taste like a delight huh?” She waggled her brows for emphasis, resulting in Laura groaning and climbing off of her. 

“Insufferable.”

xXx

“I’m gonna fight him, Carm.” Laura warned, balling her fists up to her sides, ready to plant her binder right into Theo’s stupid bro face yet again.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, grabbing the hood of Laura’s jacket before she took off down the hallway after the sports for brain idiot. “As much as I would love to be present this time around for you to smack the hell out of him, detention didn’t look cute on you, babe.”

Laura rolled her eyes, trying to get out from Carmilla’s grip. “Oh hush, one more detention won’t kill or make you leave me.”

XxX

_ June 2005 _

“So where does this leave us?” Carmilla asked one night as they lay in bed and staring up at the ceiling, both in their own heads as they tried to figure out what they would do once the summer ended. Would they stay together? Break up? They hadn’t figured that out yet.

Laura was headed to UMass and Carmilla was planning on attending Stanford, they weren’t necessarily going to be anywhere near each other, and they weren’t so sure either of them would be willing to jump into a long distance relationship, after all it wasn’t for everyone. 

“I don’t know.” Laura whispered, rolling over so that she could face Carmilla. “Do you think we would make it?”

Carmilla shrugged as she continued to stare at the ceiling. “I think we’re capable of a lot of things.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Carmilla shrugged, “I don’t know.”

Laura stayed silent while Carmilla mulled over what she was going to say next. “Some days it feels like it wouldn’t be so bad, to be away from you for a few months at a time. We’d still see each other at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I’m sure we’ll find a few long weekends here and there to visit.” 

“What about the other days?” Laura asked.

Carmilla sighed, “The other days I can’t even comprehend what it would be like for you not to be in the next room over, to not just be a quick bike ride away or to have to get used to not spending every chance we get in bed together.”

Laura rolled her eyes at that last part, nudging her shoulder into Carmilla’s. 

“Not like that.” Carmilla started before smirking just the tiniest bit, “Ok maybe like that, but I meant just like this, how we are now.” She felt for Laura’s hand, intertwining their fingers and holding Laura’s hand to her ribs. “It cracks me open, realizing that in just a couple months you won’t be this close to me, knowing all of my thoughts before I even know them myself.”

Laura leaned up, turning to face Carmilla and to look down at her. “I’ll always know what you’re thinking before you do.” 

Carmilla smiled, the corner of her mouth twitching upwards into that lopsided smile Laura couldn’t say she saw often enough. 

“But Carm, it’s not going to be easy. We know this. No one who ever was in a long distance relationship has ever said they liked it or chose to be in one.” 

“But we kinda are, aren’t we?” Carmilla asked.

“Yes and no.” 

“Well which is it?”

“Yes. If we choose to stay together after we leave, then yes we are choosing to be in a long distance relationship.”

“So what’s that say about us?”

“That we’re crazy, that we’re insanely in love with one another.” Laura started, leaning down closer to Carmilla’s face, her hair curtaining and framing the darker haired girl’s features. 

“That we couldn’t bare to leave one another’s hearts?” Carmilla mocked what Laura’s father had said earlier in the day when he had asked what their future plans were once college started.

Laura giggled before nodding her head, “Exactly.”

“Well I guess that leaves us at over 3,000 miles apart, lucky us.” 

“Lucky us.” Laura whispered, leaning down the rest of the way so that she could kiss her dramatic girlfriend.

xXx

_September 2005_

Okay so maybe Carmilla wasn’t being as dramatic as Laura had thought she was being when they discussed a long distance relationship. Leaving Carmilla as Laura boarded that plane will forever be a memory she wished she could forget, something she wished she could shove deep down next to the memory of losing her mother. Not that saying it was anywhere near the same in pain, but it was certainly something Laura hated thinking about and hated even more when she thought about it in front of other people.

She liked being miserable in private. She liked crying alone in her dorm room while her roommate was out at the Summers’s mixer. Laura liked thinking that Carmilla was just as miserable as she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been away for awhile I know, and even longer with the continuation of this. I'm trying my best to finish all of my stories, the one's worth finishing anyways. Let me know if you liked this and if it was worth the wait, hopefully the next chapter won't take as long to upload.

**Author's Note:**

> So this happened, thoughts?
> 
> You can find me here: thisismyhalfroomcutie.tumblr.com


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